Bullying: Let's talk about it
Bullying: You are not alone
What is bullying?
Bullying is when someone deliberately hurts or upsets another person, usually more than once, and uses some kind of power to make it difficult for them to stand up for themselves.
Bullying isn't always obvious. It can happen in person or online.
Remember:
Even if something happens just once, it can still be serious and you can still ask for help.
It's not your fault!
Your hair. Your clothes. Your voice. The things you enjoy. The way you look or learn.
None of these are reasons for someone to treat you badly.
Everyone is different. That's what makes us interesting!
You deserve to feel safe, respected and included, just as you are.
What can you do if you're being bullied?
1. Tell someone you trust
A parent, carer, teacher or another adult who listens and helps you feel safe.
2. Find your way to speak up
Talking can feel hard. You could write a note, send a message or ask a friend to come with you.
3. Keep asking for help
If the first person doesn't help, tell someone else. You deserve to be listened to.
Need help? Start with one person.
If something is happening to you or a friend, you could try saying:
"Something's happening and I don't know what to do."
"I'm worried someone is bullying me."
"Can you help me tell someone?"
You don't need to find the perfect words. Just start somewhere.
What if you see someone being bullied?
You can help make a difference.
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Don't join in, laugh or share hurtful messages.
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Show kindness. A smile or a friendly word can matter.
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Ask if they're OK or would like some help.
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Tell a trusted adult what's happening.
You don't have to confront the person doing the bullying or put yourself in danger.
Be you. Belong. Be brilliant.
Spend time with people who help you feel good about being yourself.
A good friend doesn't have to agree with everything you say or do. But they should treat you with kindness and respect.
You deserve friendships where you can be yourself.
Bullying: Don't face it alone
Being targeted, excluded or humiliated isn't something you should have to put up with.
Sometimes bullying is obvious. Sometimes it's disguised as a joke, hidden in a group chat or made to look like you're the problem.
It can be hard to talk about, especially if you're worried things might get worse.
You deserve to be heard, taken seriously and supported.
When does behaviour become bullying?
Bullying is behaviour intended to hurt someone, often repeated over time, where there's an imbalance of power.
That power might come from popularity, physical strength, social influence, having information about someone or being part of a larger group.
Bullying can look like:
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Verbal: insults, threats, humiliating comments or rumours.
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Social: deliberate exclusion, manipulation or turning others against someone.
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Online: harassment, unwanted sharing of content, abusive messages or targeting someone in group chats.
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Physical: intimidation, threats, hitting or damaging belongings.
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Prejudice-based: targeting someone because of their identity, background, disability or perceived differences.
It isn't always easy to tell the difference between banter, conflict and bullying.
Ask yourself: Is someone getting hurt? Can they genuinely say stop? Is one person being repeatedly targeted?
And remember, behaviour doesn't have to meet a definition of bullying before you can ask for support.
It's not banter if everyone's not laughing
HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS
People respect your boundaries, listen when you say stop and don't make you the constant target.
WARNING SIGNS
You're humiliated, made to feel powerless or pressured to laugh along when something hurts.
Friends sometimes disagree. Jokes sometimes go wrong. But repeatedly putting someone down, particularly when they feel unable to challenge it, is different.
You don't have to pretend something is funny when it isn't.
Why is speaking up so difficult?
You might worry about being labelled a snitch, losing friends, not being believed or making things worse.
You might even wonder whether you're overreacting.
Those feelings are understandable. But staying silent can leave you carrying something you shouldn't have to manage alone.
Asking for help isn't weakness. It's taking yourself seriously.
How to get support
Find someone you trust.
This could be a teacher, pastoral worker, family member, youth worker or another adult who will listen.
Choose how you want to communicate.
You don't have to explain everything face-to-face. A message, email or written note is a good starting point.
Explain what's happening.
Share what you can: what happened, where, how often and how it's affecting you.
Ask what happens next.
You can ask what support is available and how the situation will be handled.
Keep speaking up.
If nothing changes or you don't feel listened to, seek help from someone else.
If it's happening online, save relevant evidence when it's safe to do so, use reporting tools and avoid responding to abusive messages.
You don't have to handle it yourself.
If you see bullying, you have choices
Watching someone being targeted can put you in an uncomfortable position, especially when friends or popular people are involved.
But you don't have to join in or ignore what's happening.
You could check in privately, refuse to share hurtful content, include someone who's being excluded or help them seek support.
Small actions can make someone feel less alone.
And if you don't feel safe stepping in, asking an adult for help is still taking action.
You shouldn't have to change who you are to fit in
Bullying can leave you questioning yourself, changing your behaviour or hiding parts of who you are.
But belonging shouldn't mean pretending to be someone else.
You deserve relationships where you're treated with respect, your boundaries matter and you can feel comfortable being yourself.
Your differences aren't the problem. Bullying behaviour is.
Breaking the silence can start small
You don't have to make a big announcement or explain everything at once.
Sometimes it starts with one message:
"Can I talk to you about something that's been happening?"
"I'm worried about how someone is treating me."
"I need some help, but I'm worried about what will happen if I tell someone."
You deserve more than being told to ignore it. You deserve support that makes a difference.
Find someone who will listen, believe and act. Keep asking until you get the help you need.